UTP

so what is up around here now?? erm, tronoh food is still the same. more trees are being cut down in utp to make ways to new constructions, ah beng's favourite tree has been cut down also, more people are coming back, car parks are being filled quickly, still no outing to Ipoh, some new stuff on dc+, crazy weather in utp, highly population of Pak Guard and Mak Guard, more severe infestion of RM...well to put it all in a brief way, the good stuffs have gone bad and the bad stuffs have gone worse here. im missing the previous semesters. everything seem a liltle bit too new for me. group of people to hang out with might get larger, but the real fun that im looking for wont be found that easily anymore. moving on is not a choice, but the only choice that i have. everyone seems to have done so. maybe im just being late. at least, im left with some beautiful memories to reminisce to. .miss you guys.

Cant take my eyes off you

there is a very deep need to lay my eyes on the person that i couldnt. just a moment would be enough. a moment that i want to capture for a very long long time in the future, when today will be the past and the past will remain history.

.

i have been thinking the same thought over and over again. i have been wanting the same thing over and over again. i have been feeling the same feeling over and over again. but i guess, possibility is impossible. just wish it is not.

Slide away

Things have not been going so well these few days. A few unexpected events, emo hours, deep blues, missing, self-reflection moments, regrets, being indecisive. Shit Im turning into a girl!!

A lot of craps being playing in my head. Im not feeling good at all. It is saturday, yet Im stuck here. I wish that time could have stop for a moment or maybe just for a day for me to relive the past. Forget about everything, forget about the world, the problems, the work, the time,..everything. That is genuinely my feeling now. I have no idea whether Im going nut or it is just some PMS for a guy.

It is rather disappointing that a lot of craps happened without warning. It is more disappointing that most of them are because of me, my ignorence and selfishness. Karma as they say it. What goes around comes around. I deeply apologize for all the wrong doings. Im sorry..

Am I stuck in the past ? Or the past itself is something so precious that I do not want to let go off ? For the time being Im still having delusions and flashbacks in my head and heart. Perhaps one of this days, I will finally learn that things in the past are history so that we can learn from them. But for now, I just want to slip in and drift away just to relive and taste the moments of beauties.


Slide away give it all you've got,
My today fell in from the top ,
I dream of you and all the things you say ,
I wonder where you are now? ,
Hold me down all the world's asleep ,
I need you now you've knocked me off my feet ,
I dream of you we talk of growing old ,
But you said please don't ,
Slide in baby together we'll fly .......

(Oasis- Slide Away)

Selamat Tinggal Dunia

sometimes, i just wish this is possible.

hate note to noiseemunkee

noiseemunkee!! you are a god damned bastard. you talk cocks when you dont even have one. you bull shits. im so gonna kill you bastard. may your ass rot and your balls drop off. you big piece of trash here 3 words for you, "go fuck yourself !!"

All we need is Love?

John Lennon once said "All we need is LOVE".

how far has he spoken the truth, or is it just another metaphore than is non-existing. they said Love is a game of two...if it is so much of a game, there will be a loser...isnt it ?

personally for me, love had brought me to a long roller coaster ride. there was the early part where i felt the anticipation and anxiety of falling in it. there was the joy of being in it. there was the low points when i felt sick of it. and there was a point when i was trapped in a loop. there was point where i made mistakes for being to comfy just before i took the big drops. there was also a point when i questioned myself, why in the world did i take this ride??

and after all of those exciting corners and drops, you will reach to the end of the ride. as we approaches the end of the track, we begin having rapid flashback of the memories, the wonderful time and the not. and finally it slows down and stops and what???

then, you get off the seat and begin to walk away. half way to the way out, you stop. stand there silently. just to turn and take a look back and wish how it could have been a longer and better ride. wish, that you shoudnt have made all those stupid mistakes that wasted your time when you are supposed to be enjoying the ride.. wish that you can keep on riding. and then you snap out from that and realize that you are blocking other's way. you got trapped in the flow of the crowd that is rushing out, trying hard to take a second look to the ride, wanting to say a proper goodbye. but it didnt happen. you went through the door and it erases your vision of the ride. all that left, are memories, feelings, and a whole lot of regret. you will think that another roller coaster ride next door is going to be as good as the previous one. but you could never be more wrong.

i love my ride. but i despise the way it must end.

so , is it true that all we need is Love?? how does love makes the world go round, when it could be the worst weapon you could use to hurt someone?
i do not want to lose faith in Love or had i?

All we need is Love?

Monday's Blues

falling deep in blues...in all the memories left behind..

thank you for the blues, thank you for the memories....

Green Munkee

i want to get drunk too <(=_____________=)>

Farking Nightmare

Free internet has not been free for 2 days, was idling around pretty much these 2 days, hanging out with my brother with 2 days left of his holidays...

Had an ass farking nightmare a couple days ago. not a big deal tho. just want to embed the memories here. well nightmares happen for reasons most of the times.

well, roughly as clearly as i could recall the nightmare was something rather similar to my experience in the past which was mind farking.

.....damn, suddenly dont feel like writting much bout this. erm, to cut it short, lets just said it feel shit being trashed (literally speaking), and it doesnt feel any less shit when your dream feels as real as it could be.

that was a couple days ago. currently feeling fine.

Emo post

things have been getting pretty quite lately. im currently back at home. yea..sweet as always, and always sweet i pray it would be. but, still im got that kind of feeling that you get when you are missing someone. yeah, to whom it may concern, yeah i bet you know who you are..hehe.

i miss those times when we were hanging out with the gang; Chau Ah Kua, Pankor, Chong Kian... with no worries in our head and no end in our way. those late night ipoh tour and late night mamaking. yeah..im missing those pretty much. im missing the laughter, and im missing you most of all.

i hope you are doing fine there despite having to be in the busy daily schedule and hectic life. try to get yourself some self-treatment when you could, a movie or two, a date maybe..hehe.

so, do have a pleasent dream and sleep tonite. forget all the worries.
goodnite.

thinking of you.